The results of the giveaway contest are out!
(Ohh if only I could write this in Portuguese there would be so many sharp adjectives to fluently use!...)
I feel such a huge thrill that I cannot stay in bed for one minute. So I really need to write this as a way to bring all my guts out (hmmmm maybe this doesn’t sound good in English - translating by word - but I hope you get the idea…). I have to explain to you, Liz, the meaning of the choice you have made.
I have just had a really depressive, woman-in-a-bad-day, greyish, cold Saturday. Feeling homesick from my other home, East Timor: I am back in Portugal since September. There, I can feel a warm life going through my veins, feeling sure, all the time, about the following dogmas: perseverance, truth, and will.
So today I was hiding under this low vibe umbrella… Two good friends came by for dinner, and as soon as I opened the door, both of them said: “what’s the matter? I hadn’t seen you with that look on your face since those days before you knew you would go back to Timor, in March…” The truth is that what I have been going through since I am back home is standing in a limbo between “I really want to do this” and “it is so hard, I am going to give up the dream for a more conventional future for myself”.
In order to make myself clearer (I hope!), let me go back to that period when I went for the first time to Timor, in March 2007. It was a short experience, because, after almost two months of teaching Artificial Intelligence and Internet Technology at the National University, I had a terrible car accident in the mountains. (You can check some breathtaking pictures about this in here .) The year that followed the accident, for me was a confusing blur of injustice, pain and will. I was evacuated back home in a drastic way when I was starting to develop a giant crush by that land, Timor. Leaving at that time was somewhat similar to abandoning an unresolved issue. I have also had my share of wheel chairs, which made me totally sympathetic with that cause (in Timor and Portugal the infrastructures accessibility for disabled people are a shame…). That unfortunate event taught me a lot about life goals and missions.
I brokeTherefore, after a hard self-confrontation period, and only in the moment I felt ready to go back (after 3 surgeries, long physiotherapy sessions and an unexplained “have-to” will), I simply did not hesitate. I packed for a new journey.
and I realized
I should break
once a week...
to remind me how
In my experience in Timor this year I have learnt several valuable lessons… Not only related with my job as a teacher, but especially about social issues, cultural differences, information gaps. Many times the question “but what do people really need?” has travelled my thoughts. The fact that I also learnt how to speak the local language enabled me to have direct contact with a reality that goes far beyond the one that we, westerners, are used to.
So now I have chosen as a cause to offer all my possible efforts to the digital divide problematic, and I want to relate digital exclusion issues with social entrepreneurship answers, specifically in Timor, for now.
Today, even though I was feeling so sad, I accepted my friends’ invitation to go out. We ended up singing Pixies Hey song under the cold December rain: “been trying to meet you, uh uuuuh”.
When I arrived home, almost dawn, and checked my inbox (geeky girls don’t go to bed before checking email…), I found out about your choice, your decision.
And from all this, once again I have learnt: it doesn’t matter how grey your day has been. What matters is that you carry with yourself the strength to sing really loud the things you truly believe in. And have faith in it, because if you do believe, then it will all turn into reality.
It is almost 8 a.m. now. I can finally go to bed with a big smile on my face. Thank you Liz.